a slight contempt

"patience is a part of Imaan, and with Imaan comes jannah"

In times of trials and unhappiness, this whould be a chant. A proper elaborate chant. As well as zikr and duas. haih..

I was troubled a few days back on a small miscommuncation problem. I didnt mean what I said in THAT way, but unfortunately, it was interpreted wrongly by this other party. And it blew out of proportion, which left me buckets-of-tears tearful (please understand that I am in my last trimester and hormones are going beserk!), emotionally completely drained, and headachy post insomnia.

Then the explanation from the other party left me with more worrying Qs, doubts and concerns. But somehow I refused to let myself delve into the matter any further (which I now regret). At the time, I was too tired to even bother, and I just wanted to close my eyes, forget about all of it and sleep. Pretending it never happened was the easiest, calmest, and a cheat way out.

Waking up the next day, the Qs, worries and doubts did not left me, hence I am still caught in confusion. To bring the matter again, it's under the bridge, so let's not dwell on the past. But, somehow I need clarifications. Answers. But maybe deep down I dont really want to know. It will just be hurtful again, and it's weekdays now. Work next day after a night full of drama? Now way I can survive that.

Sometimes I wish life is a lot simpler as it was back then. If I want to go for a roadtrip over the weekends- I'll just go. If I want to hang out in the coffee shop for the whole 5 hours- who cares? But with older age, comes more responsibility and sacrifices. And I guess I have now come to a time when I am willing to sacrifice. But I dont know whether you are in the same boat too.

I am letting this all out and somehow felt strangely relieved. I thank Allah for this relief. And I am praying to You, to chase all my negative thoughts away. Please let me be one of those who sees and believe in good things and will recieve glad tidings. Amiin.

"Let the man of means spend according to his means: and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what he has given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant relief." (At-Talaq:7)