My beloved hubby is going for a meeting in the states tomorrow for 5 days. And, since I am heavily pregnant, tagging along is out of question. Bo Hoo! (there goes my shopping spree plan) And because people keep saying that the baby might pop out anytime soon, I am staying at my parents place for the next few days until hubby is back. *sigh* (thinking about braving through the traffic jam along LDP again) (esp. on the stupid Sunway tol!)
I should count my blessings really. Imagine if I dont have transport and needing to commute using the unreliable super packed busses/LRTs/KTMs *shivers* or not having my parents' place nearby and have to resort to staying on my own for nearly a week *scary*
Anyhow.. to another topic. my mind is split 50-50. I dont know whether it is wise to start working in a hospital or stay in campus until labour. Lots of people are saying its better to stay in campus doing clinics, which I partially agree. And some are saying, its better to go on into Hospital now and see how its like before I have a baby and then have to learn how to cope. ??? ?? ?
I shall leave this to God then. I am praying that He will put in place the best way for me to go, as He always Do. And that option is going to be the best for me now and in the future. Whatever it is.
Til then, I am going to get some food because stomach is alerady hungry and its only 11am! hu. Remember to pray, and pray hard! :)
Monday, 7 March 2011
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
remember 5 things before another 5
aahh..
i wont delve into the other 4. I will just concentrate on one of them 5.
Health before illness. Well, although pregnancy is not really an illness, now that i am 32 weeks plus, it started to feel like one.
Yesterday, driving to work, I almost fall asleep behind the wheel. My back is aching like nobody's business. I feel energy-less all the time. My calves cramping at night waking me up. O, and not including the waking up in the middle of the night to the ladies room. Its a constant discomfort - the band of my trousers, or the my clothings- everyting. O, and the weight I am carrying with me everywhere I go.
In conclusion; its a phase of aching, tiredness, sleepiness, and discomfort. For another month and a half.
This makes me wonder how on earth my mother went through this 7 times? With small children to chase around too? I am thankful that my mother is who she is. Without her, I probably cry my eyeballs out and shout at all the stupid cars that cut the line (when queing for the contra lane on LDP) ugh!
I am thankful to God, for without Him, I might have lost my sanity. And I am holding on to His reminder, " after each trials, there is relief". I am reminding myself that patience is a virtue, meaning more plus points to bring me to heaven. I am reminding myself that I can actually die during labour, and I dont want the last memories my family have of me are the shouting crazy me. And I dont want my child to feel the stress of this worldly life even before s/he's born.
And also, I should be thankful for having this chance to become a mother. There are millions of women out there who have perhaps tried for many years, to no success in concieving.
I hope I can survive this 1-ish month more of trials, and finally be blessed with a health, happy, perfect little angel. Amiin :)
i wont delve into the other 4. I will just concentrate on one of them 5.
Health before illness. Well, although pregnancy is not really an illness, now that i am 32 weeks plus, it started to feel like one.
Yesterday, driving to work, I almost fall asleep behind the wheel. My back is aching like nobody's business. I feel energy-less all the time. My calves cramping at night waking me up. O, and not including the waking up in the middle of the night to the ladies room. Its a constant discomfort - the band of my trousers, or the my clothings- everyting. O, and the weight I am carrying with me everywhere I go.
In conclusion; its a phase of aching, tiredness, sleepiness, and discomfort. For another month and a half.
This makes me wonder how on earth my mother went through this 7 times? With small children to chase around too? I am thankful that my mother is who she is. Without her, I probably cry my eyeballs out and shout at all the stupid cars that cut the line (when queing for the contra lane on LDP) ugh!
I am thankful to God, for without Him, I might have lost my sanity. And I am holding on to His reminder, " after each trials, there is relief". I am reminding myself that patience is a virtue, meaning more plus points to bring me to heaven. I am reminding myself that I can actually die during labour, and I dont want the last memories my family have of me are the shouting crazy me. And I dont want my child to feel the stress of this worldly life even before s/he's born.
And also, I should be thankful for having this chance to become a mother. There are millions of women out there who have perhaps tried for many years, to no success in concieving.
I hope I can survive this 1-ish month more of trials, and finally be blessed with a health, happy, perfect little angel. Amiin :)
Monday, 7 February 2011
worries worries worries
How nice life would be without having to worry..
Being in a state of worrying is probably worse than hunger, and thirst, and heat. It's this constant headache and frowns and "what-ifs" and "if-nots"...
Although God has reminded us to not worry, and leave it all to Him. The whispers of satans have maanged to successfully creep out this worry of my head.
"where to place my baby for care during office hours when I'm at work after confinement ends"
With the news constantly popping out with babies neglected, and abused, and left to starve under the so-called-'care' of irresponsible nurseries/babysitter, it does not leave me in peace knowing that I have to do the same for my child once he/she reached mere 3 month old!
I have tried googling and searching for the right place and now I arrived to this plea " please Allah send me to the right person/home/nursery and please protect this unborn child against all evil and bad things. amiin "
People used to be less intimidating and more trustworthy before. Looking back, lets say, 30 years ago, such problem didnt exist or rarely heard of. because peple used to have conscience and kindness. I wonder what have happened to the world today. Have everyone strayed so far away from God that they are willing to commit such sins to innocent kids?
I pray that my loved ones are protected from their evils, and hopefully their past evil-ness will be pardoned and they will repent.
Being in a state of worrying is probably worse than hunger, and thirst, and heat. It's this constant headache and frowns and "what-ifs" and "if-nots"...
Although God has reminded us to not worry, and leave it all to Him. The whispers of satans have maanged to successfully creep out this worry of my head.
"where to place my baby for care during office hours when I'm at work after confinement ends"
With the news constantly popping out with babies neglected, and abused, and left to starve under the so-called-'care' of irresponsible nurseries/babysitter, it does not leave me in peace knowing that I have to do the same for my child once he/she reached mere 3 month old!
I have tried googling and searching for the right place and now I arrived to this plea " please Allah send me to the right person/home/nursery and please protect this unborn child against all evil and bad things. amiin "
People used to be less intimidating and more trustworthy before. Looking back, lets say, 30 years ago, such problem didnt exist or rarely heard of. because peple used to have conscience and kindness. I wonder what have happened to the world today. Have everyone strayed so far away from God that they are willing to commit such sins to innocent kids?
I pray that my loved ones are protected from their evils, and hopefully their past evil-ness will be pardoned and they will repent.
alhamdulillah
My parents and 3 siblinsg aer safely home from Egypt!
It is such a relief, alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah. After hours of air tickets searching and booking and researching, we managed to put all 5 of them on a flight back home 3 days ago. :)
In trials and difficult tinmes, we will always seek God. In prayers, in thoughts, in everything we do, we will chant His name. But, in easier times, its so easy to forget Him, astaghfirullah. I am now reminding myself to be in a state of constant attachement to Allah. No matter in good/bad health, in danger/safety. It is Allah we turn to.
I hope He wont forget me too. I hope He is constantly watching over me, guiding me and protecting me from all the evils in this this world. I hope all my decisions are from Him, for He knows me better than I do. And I hope He is guiding my decisions now to be closer towards Him in the afterlife. for this life on earth is a mere blink of of an eye.
And i want eternity of happiness :)
til then, remember God and death. The short Life now is for us to prepare for the better later.
It is such a relief, alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah. After hours of air tickets searching and booking and researching, we managed to put all 5 of them on a flight back home 3 days ago. :)
In trials and difficult tinmes, we will always seek God. In prayers, in thoughts, in everything we do, we will chant His name. But, in easier times, its so easy to forget Him, astaghfirullah. I am now reminding myself to be in a state of constant attachement to Allah. No matter in good/bad health, in danger/safety. It is Allah we turn to.
I hope He wont forget me too. I hope He is constantly watching over me, guiding me and protecting me from all the evils in this this world. I hope all my decisions are from Him, for He knows me better than I do. And I hope He is guiding my decisions now to be closer towards Him in the afterlife. for this life on earth is a mere blink of of an eye.
And i want eternity of happiness :)
til then, remember God and death. The short Life now is for us to prepare for the better later.
Tuesday, 1 February 2011
Trials and tribulation
This is not good,
My parents and 3 siblings are in Egypt at the moment, amidst all the riots, gunshooting, prison breaks, and rallying! May Allah's protection be upon them, for He is the Best Protector.
A part of me feels sorry for them, because they've spent a fortune to travel and do all sorts of touristy stuff, but ended up in curfew and in danger.
Another part is relieved that they are still safe, unharmed and together. (better than being alone)
Also I am torn between feeling angry and supportive towards the people of Egypt. Angry because they are causing unwarranted danger for all the innocent tourists, and the women and children. They've not think of a better, easier, nicer, more diplomatic way if negotiating their freedom (btw, they should have started from having meetings/ talks/ etc etc with their President). Not straight into this mess.
Supportive because .. it's good for them to want something else for their life. Something better. Perhaps, it's the means that they should have thought thru a bit better. We are human beings after all. Gifted with brains and vocabs and literature to converse with each other in peace. Use them well before it's too late.
Til then, the rest of my family members are rooted to Aljazeera as never before. lol.
I am praying for their safety and strenght. May Allah be with them, and give them courage, protection, and wisdom. At times like this, I feel blessed we live in a peaceful country.
My parents and 3 siblings are in Egypt at the moment, amidst all the riots, gunshooting, prison breaks, and rallying! May Allah's protection be upon them, for He is the Best Protector.
A part of me feels sorry for them, because they've spent a fortune to travel and do all sorts of touristy stuff, but ended up in curfew and in danger.
Another part is relieved that they are still safe, unharmed and together. (better than being alone)
Also I am torn between feeling angry and supportive towards the people of Egypt. Angry because they are causing unwarranted danger for all the innocent tourists, and the women and children. They've not think of a better, easier, nicer, more diplomatic way if negotiating their freedom (btw, they should have started from having meetings/ talks/ etc etc with their President). Not straight into this mess.
Supportive because .. it's good for them to want something else for their life. Something better. Perhaps, it's the means that they should have thought thru a bit better. We are human beings after all. Gifted with brains and vocabs and literature to converse with each other in peace. Use them well before it's too late.
Til then, the rest of my family members are rooted to Aljazeera as never before. lol.
I am praying for their safety and strenght. May Allah be with them, and give them courage, protection, and wisdom. At times like this, I feel blessed we live in a peaceful country.
Thursday, 27 January 2011
when life is too sedentary
Looking back, life is too relaxing now. Back in the HO days, running around, oncalls is a daily routine. Weight gain was never a problem. But I had so much fun despite the bickering adn complaining at the end of the day.
Now that life is too stagnant waiting for things to happen.. i wish i am back then. But then again, i better becareful what I'm wishing for...
One of my senior colleague sort of advised me to take it easy now and enjoy the days. Go with the flow. Read books. Learn. Maybe she is right. So by the time I start, I hit the ground running :)
But I hope this super long stagnant period of relaxtion will not put my brain, stamina and motivation to halt. I am still young and there are a million things I want to do!
This is human nature. The way we are created is to never be fully satisfied in whatever situation we are in. If we win 1000 bucks, we wished it's 100000. If we got 10 straight As, we wished it's 11As. Wishing for a bigger house, higher salary, better looks, nicer food. And the list is endless!
Please remember to thank God. For He knows what is best for us. Although we thought this is the worst situation ever, it is actually for the best. He created us and have been looking after each and every one of us since we are just a small nutfah. He knows us far better than we know ourselves. Hence, alhamdulillah... in this relaxed situation I am in, I thank You God, for always looking after me and putting me in the best situation possible. Thank you.
Have you said your thanks today?
Now that life is too stagnant waiting for things to happen.. i wish i am back then. But then again, i better becareful what I'm wishing for...
One of my senior colleague sort of advised me to take it easy now and enjoy the days. Go with the flow. Read books. Learn. Maybe she is right. So by the time I start, I hit the ground running :)
But I hope this super long stagnant period of relaxtion will not put my brain, stamina and motivation to halt. I am still young and there are a million things I want to do!
This is human nature. The way we are created is to never be fully satisfied in whatever situation we are in. If we win 1000 bucks, we wished it's 100000. If we got 10 straight As, we wished it's 11As. Wishing for a bigger house, higher salary, better looks, nicer food. And the list is endless!
Please remember to thank God. For He knows what is best for us. Although we thought this is the worst situation ever, it is actually for the best. He created us and have been looking after each and every one of us since we are just a small nutfah. He knows us far better than we know ourselves. Hence, alhamdulillah... in this relaxed situation I am in, I thank You God, for always looking after me and putting me in the best situation possible. Thank you.
Have you said your thanks today?
Friday, 21 January 2011
have i been the laziest blogger in town?
may peace and love be amongst us today, along with Allah's blessings and guidance.
I have to agree if u want to nominate me as the laziest, most out of touch blogger ever. I am ashamed to call myself one as the stark vacancy in the entries deserves a national boo! i apologize. :S
A lot have happened through out the past few months, hence, i shall tell u all about it in numerical order. And of course, all praises to God, for His countless bounty towards me way.
1. I am pregnant! :D
I am now a healthy pregnant mother to iAllah a healthy girl (from the scans- which hopefully not misleading in my case). I have got another 3 months to term, and finding pregnancy a time to reflect on my nonpregnant days. The times when I am not as tired and able to do more for Allah, but then, no thanks to pure laziness and syaitan laknatullah's whispers- ended up not doing as much ibadah! Thinking of those fit slim days, I wish I put a lot more effort and energy into the good things. Haih..
Well, now I just have to chin up and strive hard to do the extra ibadah on top of the wajib ones.. no matter how tired and sleepy my eyes are..
2. I am now a doctor in a university! (trainee lecturer)
After long months of unemployment (personal choice :P ), I am now emplyed and alhamdulillah it's a brilliant job. It will allow me to further my studies in a field I chose next year, which is perfect timing too, because, by then I will have delivered the baby, and completed my confinement. Its wonderful timing, thanks to Allah, for He is the best Planner :) Just leave everything to Him, wo worries, he will sort it out for u and me. All we have to do is try our best, pray hard, and work hard. He will iAllah look after u ;) the way He always look after me.
3. We have found a house to move in by the end of this month iAllah.
Its a lovely house near my workplace, hence, I will be able to commute to work without much traffic jam! (and save on fuel, and be able to not contribute so much towards carbon emmision :D ) *yeay*
At the moment, I am travelling 1 hour plus, up to 1 and a half hour to work, and again the same amount of time spent back from work. Its a hassle! And I was furious at first to not be able to get into this house ASAP after I started work. But again, alhamdulillah, it was a blessing in disguise (hikmah). Last week, this house was broken into and lots of stuff were stolen. Luckily no one was in the house and the tenant only lost a few items of not great value (but it is still a lost to them). I hope that if they are patient, these trials will earn them good deeds and iALlah will help them to enter jannah with ease :)amiin.
These are the big major things that have occurred. I will keep u updated more as time comes, and hopefully iAllah this time, I will make time to write. I have been somewhat preoccupied with interviews, and whatnot for the past few months, but those were over now :) Pray so that we have a blessed life here and after, and more hikmah willcome our way. amiin!
I have to agree if u want to nominate me as the laziest, most out of touch blogger ever. I am ashamed to call myself one as the stark vacancy in the entries deserves a national boo! i apologize. :S
A lot have happened through out the past few months, hence, i shall tell u all about it in numerical order. And of course, all praises to God, for His countless bounty towards me way.
1. I am pregnant! :D
I am now a healthy pregnant mother to iAllah a healthy girl (from the scans- which hopefully not misleading in my case). I have got another 3 months to term, and finding pregnancy a time to reflect on my nonpregnant days. The times when I am not as tired and able to do more for Allah, but then, no thanks to pure laziness and syaitan laknatullah's whispers- ended up not doing as much ibadah! Thinking of those fit slim days, I wish I put a lot more effort and energy into the good things. Haih..
Well, now I just have to chin up and strive hard to do the extra ibadah on top of the wajib ones.. no matter how tired and sleepy my eyes are..
2. I am now a doctor in a university! (trainee lecturer)
After long months of unemployment (personal choice :P ), I am now emplyed and alhamdulillah it's a brilliant job. It will allow me to further my studies in a field I chose next year, which is perfect timing too, because, by then I will have delivered the baby, and completed my confinement. Its wonderful timing, thanks to Allah, for He is the best Planner :) Just leave everything to Him, wo worries, he will sort it out for u and me. All we have to do is try our best, pray hard, and work hard. He will iAllah look after u ;) the way He always look after me.
3. We have found a house to move in by the end of this month iAllah.
Its a lovely house near my workplace, hence, I will be able to commute to work without much traffic jam! (and save on fuel, and be able to not contribute so much towards carbon emmision :D ) *yeay*
At the moment, I am travelling 1 hour plus, up to 1 and a half hour to work, and again the same amount of time spent back from work. Its a hassle! And I was furious at first to not be able to get into this house ASAP after I started work. But again, alhamdulillah, it was a blessing in disguise (hikmah). Last week, this house was broken into and lots of stuff were stolen. Luckily no one was in the house and the tenant only lost a few items of not great value (but it is still a lost to them). I hope that if they are patient, these trials will earn them good deeds and iALlah will help them to enter jannah with ease :)amiin.
These are the big major things that have occurred. I will keep u updated more as time comes, and hopefully iAllah this time, I will make time to write. I have been somewhat preoccupied with interviews, and whatnot for the past few months, but those were over now :) Pray so that we have a blessed life here and after, and more hikmah willcome our way. amiin!
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